Depth

Delaying time, I slowly walked home. It was late but relatively early for a Friday night. I saw the people dancing with the lights. I miss those lights.

The cold breeze slowly provided relief, wiping the thin sheet of sweat that envelopes my forehead. It is again another time I'd start the endless introspection.

For the past few days I've been looking at where I am and where I had been. Not much difference and I'm not happy with it. Everything has been in my head: the friends I left and the friends I made, the business, the trip this May, what I have to attend to this April and where the hell am I heading.

Am I having too much for myself at my age? What have I been really scared of? Which do I have to attend to first?

Still living by the past, I can foretell what the future beholds. As I make sense of what I have, the weariness I cannot let go. My failures arise and my strong suits have gone bankrupt. With each step, I am chained.

I had enough of the silence. I want to talk but I no longer know him and he still expects me to do so. Until now, what he did has jaded me, instilling more than what I can bear and never wished for.

How have you scarred me?

Tell me. I only know how deep.